Madagascan President exiled in a Swazi Palace

You will notice I have not written for a couple weeks but things are really swinging in my palaces now!

Last week I could not write because I am the big peace and security guy at SADC and I had to settle that little problem of Madagascar.

Can you imagine my boys doing that to me?

No, there will never be a coup in Swaziland. I said so!

So this week I am busy as well - you know DEPOSED Madagascan President Marc Ravalomanana is here as my guest.

I am promising him my first daughter if he can get back that island and give me half as lobola. Tibiyo is explanding.

You see, I really am the king of all nations!

King Mswati in Wonderland

HIV and Palaces in Swaziland

Did everyone hear the good news? Swaziland is getting money, more money from donors.

I love these donors but more precisely I love their hand-outs! One truly can never have enough money.

Yes, our friend President Obama of the USA is giving me thirty million American dollars to help fight HIV. That is about one hundred million emalangeni! See how much he likes me.

That is very good news because I do not want to spend a single cent on these sick people who live on my farm. Anyway, I will not give my money to my lazy subjects! I have a bunch of palaces to refurbish and that will cost one hundred million emalangeni.

Do you think Obama is jealous of me? I do. He has only one wife and only one White House. Me - I have at least a dozen of everything.

Yes, I am sure he is jealous of me and I do not think he is very smart to tell the truth. Why spend all that money on HIV when you simply can tell the people to stop having sex. That is what I did and see how great it worked out.

Swazi king likes to fly.

Babe, can I have an aeroplane?

Some people have noticed that I do not write blog entries as often as I did last year but again that is not my fault.

Barnabus is supposed to look after government stuff, but I think he is dim-witted, and then has to ask me about everything. I picked him because he is like a loyal beast but still, honestly, he is very dull and I end up doing too much work.

Why work when there is nothing I like better than talking about myself - even all my wives are boring compared to me - and I wish I could write here every single day. Eish, I could write about myself at least three times a day if these bloody fools knew how to take care of business. I don't know why I pay them so much!

If I axed the whole lot of Dlamini hanger-oners I could get everything I want. And I still want an AEORPLANE.

When I was a little boy my daddy gave me a toy aeroplane, but now I am a man and why should I still have to play with that old toy. It is just not fair. If daddy were here I would get what I want.

Oh Babe wami, will you come as a ghost and visit all those who say I can not get my plane?

Oh Babe wami, you are the "lizard" so make your ghost do some running about because I am getting mad. I WANT AN AEROPLANE.

Uncle Bob in Zimbabwe has one, so why can't I have one too?