One of my fine Swazi subjects in Arizona has sent me a praise poem he wrote.
I can't say I honestly understand it but he must love me for all of my subjects adore me.
After all I am HIS Majesty, the Greatest Swazi king ever to rule on the continent of Africa and probably the greatest king in all the universe.
So here is the poem and please do tell me what it means.
one swazi man
and
tens of thousands of graves
fourteen wives
and
hundreds and hundreds of rapes
eight palaces
and
hundreds of thousands of hungry mouths
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Am I, Mswati the Great, a bugger?
Oh my troubles never end.
Damn, it's hard being a King.
Here's just one example of how tough it is in my position.
Last week I received a "royal family" of camels from the man who tried to bugger me. Gadhafi of Libya doesn't understand the meaning of my royal "suka la".
Here's my problem. On my last trip to his country, we were eating and drinking and having a grand old time. We were talking about the nagging wives who are always around. He even made me laugh when he said he gets tired of his women and goes out to "visit the female camels".
I thought it all was lots of fun until he got me very drunk and when I passed out, he tried to mount me!
That bugger!
Luckily my bodyguards were not to far away and my ass was saved - or at least half saved.
Anyway he now thinks he can kiss and make up by sending me the camels but he is a pervert. All he really wants is to be the King of Africa but he knows everybody wants me as the King of the African Union.
Gadhafi is jealous of my super powers, my wealth and my great looks- that's why he wanted to "know me intimately". Oh, I think I must just forget him but keep the animals.
But did you happen to notice 4 of the 6 camels are female? Maybe I can try my luck with them when the wives are giving me headaches.
So if I don't write for a bit you'll know what is occupying my time....I'll be busy with those female camels until the young naked Swazi girls start shaking their stuff at the August reed dance.
Damn, it's hard being a King.
Here's just one example of how tough it is in my position.
Last week I received a "royal family" of camels from the man who tried to bugger me. Gadhafi of Libya doesn't understand the meaning of my royal "suka la".
Here's my problem. On my last trip to his country, we were eating and drinking and having a grand old time. We were talking about the nagging wives who are always around. He even made me laugh when he said he gets tired of his women and goes out to "visit the female camels".
I thought it all was lots of fun until he got me very drunk and when I passed out, he tried to mount me!
That bugger!
Luckily my bodyguards were not to far away and my ass was saved - or at least half saved.
Anyway he now thinks he can kiss and make up by sending me the camels but he is a pervert. All he really wants is to be the King of Africa but he knows everybody wants me as the King of the African Union.
Gadhafi is jealous of my super powers, my wealth and my great looks- that's why he wanted to "know me intimately". Oh, I think I must just forget him but keep the animals.
But did you happen to notice 4 of the 6 camels are female? Maybe I can try my luck with them when the wives are giving me headaches.
So if I don't write for a bit you'll know what is occupying my time....I'll be busy with those female camels until the young naked Swazi girls start shaking their stuff at the August reed dance.
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